Conflicts in the family, constructive methods for their solution
Family as a full-featured active systeminteraction, can not but collide with crises, conflicts and quarrels. After all, people tend to satisfy their personal needs throughout their lives, but often do not take into account the interests of the partner.
Causes of family conflicts
1. At the heart of the value type of quarrel are different interests of partners and patterns of upbringing.
2. The position conflict arises in the course of the struggle for the place of the head of the family.
3. Sexual type is the result of intimate disharmony. To solve it you need the help of a doctor.
4. Emotional quarrels occur against the backdrop of an unmet need for positive emotions. They are accompanied by a chronic lack of affection and understanding from one of the members of the family. Such a conflict is pursued by those unions in which people do not take elementary care of each other.
5. Economic and economic coloring is borne by conflicts in the family with a difficult financial situation. As a rule, the spouses own different schemes for allocating the monthly budget.
The sharp disagreements that have arisen overfor the reasons listed above, can proceed clearly or covertly. In the first case, people exchange verbal and physical insults. The hidden conflict is not realized by people, for a while it does not manifest itself in behavior at all.
Conflicts in the family, ways of their development
1. There is an aggravation of the situation, indicating a destructive dynamics. The result is a divorce.
2. Conflict acquires a permanent form, remains unsolvable for a long time, even for many years.
3. A compromise solution to the situation.
The model of the behavior of a married couple in relations between themselves
1. Rivalry is shown by individuals who are prone to confrontation in a relationship. Prefer to resolve the conflict without meeting the aggravated needs of the partner. In the process of development of the situation there is an accumulation of irritation, which turns into personal insults, threats, and in some cases into assault.
2. Cooperation implies that conflicts in the family are resolved taking into account the interests of all family members.
Resolution of acute situations by the method of Jan and Catherine Gottlieb
The positive outcome of the quarrel outcome depends on the observance of certain conditions:
- clarification of relations occurs without the presence of children;
- The causes of conflicts in the family are formulated clearly with a specific indication of acute angles;
- At the same time, a positive attitude to the spouse is mentioned in the list of negative feelings;
- each side is ready to listen quietly to comments on their behavior;
- the priorities of each family member are identified, common points of contact in the needs are found;
- ask leading questions, so that it would be easier for the spouse to outline the range of her problems and feelings;
- if necessary, all are ready to wait until the partner's uncontrollable emotions subside;
- counter offers are acceptable, acceptable to the other party.
Conflicts in the family are decided by the methods of Jan and Catherine Gottlieb, taking into account prohibited methods:
- do not apologize before the partner realizes the fact of repentance;
- It is impossible to translate the dialogue into a channel abstracted from the current dispute, to sabotage the situation or demonstratively to remain silent;
- focus on the disadvantages of the intimate sphere;
- to touch on issues that are relevant to another conflict, and not to the contracted;
- harbor grievances, feigning their own agreement with the opponent;
- explain the feelings of the interlocutor from his point of view;
- criticize the priorities of another person;
- play on suspiciousness and uncertainty.
With a radical solution of family conflictsdivorce sooner or later is inevitable. It should be remembered: in order not to bring yourself to nervous breakdowns during divorce proceedings, you need to be consistent. An unpleasant legal procedure is preceded first by an emotional divorce, manifested in alienation from each other, indifference, loss of trust and love. Then the spouses move to the level of physical divorce, they live separately for a long time. Only after having lived separately, it is recommended to proceed with the registration of legal documents that confirm the right to create a new family.